Trying to get home, while looking like an over-ripe plum

I waited (im)patiently for my transport home. As the afternoon wore on I donned my magic pants. Anyone who has worn these to make themselves look sleek will know that they are difficult to wriggle into at the best of times.

If I tell you that I had purple bruises on my hips, tummy, under my ribs and over my entire right breast, you may get an idea of how hard it was to get these on!
Once on, I also found that it was just as hard to get them off again! Being badly bruised and swollen made it even more difficult and painful. I certainly developed the knack very quickly…
1. Deep breath and brace yourself
2. Grasp top firmly
3. Fold top down over abdomen as far as possible without touching the torso too much.
4. Pull down over hips in as smooth a motion as possible.

To put them on is almost the same in reverse…
1. Deep breath and brace yourself
2. Making sure the legs (of the pants) are hanging down neatly (otherwise they get tucked up inside), pull as much of the pant into place up to the hip zone
3. Grasping the top firmly pull it up and over the abdomen as much as possible while trying not to let the tight band at the top come into contact with bruised abdomen.
I found that getting the front up first and then working round to the back was the best technique for me.

Right, we’ve established the issues with the pants. Now bear in mind that I was anxious to ensure that, once the transport arrived, I would be ready to go without keeping anyone waiting! That meant regular trips to the bathroom, with all the above rigmarole described above.

During the the day, my transport was running behind schedule due to the weather. And, round about 4 o’clock I was finally told that the transport backlog was still a problem and I wouldn’t be going home that day.   I … was … gutted.   I had £3.89 and no credit cards, so couldn’t even try getting a train back (assuming I could have got to the station)!

Next morning I kept switching between local radio, BBC updates and the internet (via my mobile) to assess the weather and road conditions. Initially, buses and trains were running on the main roads from Hospital to Home – I kept my fingers cross and kept on checking, while I waited for information about my transport.

You know when you get a gut feeling – I had that feeling, and at 08:40 I got the announcement that I would be going nowhere that day. Judging by the forecasts and the state of the roads, I could see myself being in Hospital into the weekend and the following week. Desperation started to grasp at me!

Half an hour later I had a brain wave! A neighbour near to home does work not that far from the Hospital. I know that because when she received an injury at work, she had been to the same Hospital. I phoned her (not something I would normally do, as I don’t like to impose on people) to see if a) she was working and b) if she was, would she take me home.

She was! I quickly gave directions to where I was within the grounds of the Hospital complex, when asked why I was there I truthfully told her (only right under the circumstances, particularly as I’d already posted a blog about it on here) and she kindly advised me that she would come over as soon as she finished work. Likely to arrive around 3pm. I was so excited! It was good to be able to update the ward staff with my estimated departure time and pack away all my personal things in readiness. That done I settled down to watch daytime TV and await confirmation of her leaving work.

She set off from her work at 13:54 and her 25 minute journey to the Hospital took about 40-45 minutes. Once I was in the car, we had to reverse out of the car park as all other routes were blocked by cars coming towards us. Fortunately the vehicle behind us was able to reverse into a space and park up to avoid a complete log-jam. Without going into the full details of the journey I can confirm that I was safely back home by just gone 5pm, totally grateful and fully admiring of her driving skills. And also thoroughly glad that I had thought of phoning her when I did, as that was the last day of her shift and I would have had no further chance of a lift.

A special meal served up by Mr S and a quick unpack of my things, then a relaxing evening before sleeping in my beautifully comfortable bed again. Phew!


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